Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Introductory Paragraph
Gandhi said, "I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary, the evil it does is permanent." This means that no matter how good revenge or getting even may sound. The way people look at you has a big effect on this. They may look at you in a evil way and you cant take back things you do once something is said or done, its out there. You can never take it back. This quote is totally true because despite if people doesn't always follow that. Most people believe it is wrong even though revenge or total dominance can feel so great. This can be seen in Founders when the main character kills those men when they threaten him, whether it was a good decision or bad the outcome in this world will always be the same. You can never take someones life, despite how you feel in the moment. People that resort to violence could be selfish, and showing forms of laziness looking for the easy way out, they could also be looking for some form of self acceptance.
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ReplyDeleteJase you did a great job on your piece of writing. Great job on the 1st person writing. I could see some writing issues but there were few. all your sentences were correctly written and clear Your sentences also follow the sequence. I got all three main points, and just keep it up you did great.
ReplyDeleteHey Jase, I really did like your introduction piece but there was some errors in it. When you were explaining what the quote meant it really didn't make a whole lot of sense. I wasn't sure if you were agreeing with it or not. You did a really good job in writing your thesis statement. Your sentences as well could be more detailed. Over all great job!
ReplyDeleteYou started the paragraph good and underlined the title. I understand what your trying to say but some are your sentences are to short.Like when you said,"This means that no matter how good revenge or getting even may sound. The way people look at you has a big effect on this. You should of combined both sentences for it could sound like this" This means that no matter how good revenge is or getting even may sound,people look at you as a big effect on this". I though that your 3 points were: when the main character kills those men when they threaten him,You can never take someones life,and people tat resort to violence could be selfish. I think you should re check some of your sentences because on some sentences you missed out some words and it don't make sense.
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